i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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