Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
