Are we in a gay sports bar?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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