Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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