Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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