what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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