I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
