My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
