Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
