If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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