her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
