Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
