Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
