You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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