I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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