I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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