I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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