Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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