fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
