Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
