I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
