I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He did a backflip because drugs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
