I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
