He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
