doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
