Only a mothe r could love this liver
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
