Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
