I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
