yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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