Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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