there's paper in my vomit.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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