I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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