nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm like, not good at living.
how drunk are you?
Several
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
