I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
