We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
