So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
