What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
