haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
