You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
