He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
