She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
