Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
