Just fell off a train. Bad.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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