I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
should my penis look like a turkey
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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