yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
