god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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