suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
