Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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