The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
