He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
